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10 Tips What To Expect In Couples Counseling

Mental health has been a taboo for a long time. However, with the increased awareness and frequent discussion on mainstream media, the subject is now getting normalized. This has also helped normalize couples counseling, which was seen as something only desperate couples would do as a last resort to save their relationship.

The truth is that couples counseling is for everyone. Whether you are in your relationship, consider investing in counseling because what couple does not face issues? Hence, it’s better to have professional counseling to stop minor problems grow into bigger ones.

When going for couples counseling for the first time, you should expect a few things. Let’s discuss some of these:

1. Your Relationship Is Not Ending

When couples go for counseling, it does not mean it is the end of their relationship. On the contrary, a lot of happy couples go to counseling to resolve issues they feel are not being resolved by themselves. There is room for improvement in every relationship, and that is where counseling comes into play – helping you maintain your bond.

2. Types Of Couples Counseling

It is essential to understand that there are different types of couples counseling. This means that you need to research the type of counseling you want to take before contacting a counselor.

3. Family History

A top-notch couples therapist will begin by assessing your family history. This helps the counselor understand a lot about you as an individual and how you can relate with others. Expect questions regarding your family history as they are part of the process.

4. Understand That Change Begins From You

Common mistake partners coming into counseling make expecting the other partner to get ‘fixed,’ rather than being motivated to change themselves for the better as well. Good couples will make an honest evaluation about each side and contribute towards a positive change. However, suppose both the partners end up blaming each other. In that case, the process of therapy becomes difficult and takes a lot of time.

5. Attend Together Or Alone

Yes, you can attend sessions either with your partner or individually. A lot of people are hesitant to go to therapy with their partners out of the fear of making things worse. In such cases, you can schedule separate counseling sessions with the counselor.

6. Build A Set Of Goals Mutually

When going to counseling, it is crucial for you as a couple to be on the same page and have similar goals and expectations out of the process. Therefore, mutually align 3-5 high priority items you as a couple needs to focus on. This may include your habits, values or, other similar things. This will be your first step towards getting solutions to the issues you may be facing in your relationship.

7. Do Not Expect An Instant Fix

Going to counseling doesn’t mean everything will be great overnight – your expectations must be realistic. All kinds of change require time, and so does a positive difference in a relationship. Often couples take months and years to resolve their issues, but this does not mean that the problem has no solution. It’s normal for things to take time. Sometimes couples spend months and years in counseling.

8. Be Prepared For The Associated Risks

One of the basic criteria to assess couples about their readiness for couples counseling is to assess their openness to taking emotional risks. Suppose you haven’t been expressing your feelings a lot lately. In that case, you may not even know what is going on, and the counseling process may be overwhelming for you. If you are suffering from anxiety or depression, do not shy away from it and face these issues with a strong head. Your couples therapist will help you resolve these issues as well.

9. Be Open To Share

Trust is a very important and fundamental element of counseling. You will be required to share anything and everything in your mind. It’s a good idea to think about the areas you need to improve and work on in your relationship before meeting your counselor, as this may be the first question you are asked. Most people might not be as comfortable sharing emotions and take some time to open up. It is fine to take some time, as long as you eventually open up.

10. You Could Find It Fun

Do not feel overwhelmed or anxious about the counseling process because it can actually be a lot of fun. Adopting the right approach towards the entire thing will change your perspective about it. Identifying weaknesses in your relationship and improving them is definitely rewarding!

Final Words

Couples counseling can sound daunting, but it really isn’t! Though this form of therapy has some stigma attached around it, it’s actually a really good way to keep your relationship going healthily. So, if you’ve been having some relationship struggles lately (even minor ones), consider getting in touch with a couples counselor!

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